Your best pickup line is "Pick a card."

You worry about spending certain piece of change in your pocket.

You bottom deal when playing Go Fish.

You carry 6 decks on you.

Out of the 6 decks you have on you, only one can be used in a card game.

You have a deck of cards, some half dollars, or some quarters within arms reach of the toilet.

You have nightmares about hecklers.

You have to take Loops off your wrist before getting in the shower.

You forget you are wearing a TT until you realize that you can’t type correctly.

You avoid friends to get some practice time in after school.

You INSIST on hanging out with you friends to get some performance time in after school.

You have your local magic shop on speed dial.

It is hard for you to say the numbers 1, 11, 12, 13, and 14 but you CAN say Ace, Jack, Queen, and King.

The only unbent forks in your house are plastic.

You sneeze and immediately produce a Kleenex.

You ask the person at the mechanic if they have "New Card Smell".

You get emotional when shuffling a new deck.

You are scared to invite any layman friends over in fear of them seeing one of your gimmicks that are lying around.

You can't find one of your cards, and it's in a guy's pocket across the room.

The talent show judges throw money into your hat.

You mean to type your email address, but actually write "www.ellusionist.com".

A cashier gives you change and you instinctually French Drop it to put it in your pocket.

All of your clocks in your house have stopped.

You dress as a quarter for Halloween.

You spend 20 bucks for a half dollar.

Your favorite number is 52.

Your favorite colors are red and black.

You can’t find a spare quarter on you, but you can behind someone’s ear.

You are too lazy to pick up a pen, so you just make it float back to you.

You can’t find your wallet, keys, watch, or glasses, but you can pull a signed card out of your ass.

Magic turns you on more than women do.

Your dream date is the Queen of Hearts.

David Blaine’s photo is pasted to your dartboard.

You go through a pack a day…of cards.

To you, a Bike is a deck of cards.

"Bikes and Ho’s" is not a funny phrase to you.

You record every magic special on TV.

All of your water bottles have the caps inside.

You spend the most money on things that other people aren’t allowed to see.

You scan Google for hours looking for free magic,

You switch from bikes to tally ho’s "to make like more exciting".

You only have 48 friends and 4 girlfriends.

You wear playing card pajamas.

You need to search your pocket for an un-bit quarter.

You come home hungry because you used your lunch money in a vanishing act.

You get confused when someone asks to ride bikes.

You can make a forcing deck without buying one.

Your girlfriend knows the sound of riffled cards over the phone.

You buy a pack of cards just because you saw them.

An Ace of Spades is taped to your rear car window.

You walk into your old high school wondering if there are still cards on the ceiling.

You walk into the mall looking for your cards on the ceiling.

You can’t go out in public without being asked to levitate.

All of your pocket change is bent.

Your friends always watch their forks when they eat in front of you.

You always have rubber bands on your wrist.

You only have enough money for gas or magic, so you bum rides off your girlfriend.

The majority of your English papers are about magic.

You have flash paper in your wallet.

You have so much magic stuff in your room that it’s considered a fire hazard.

You can change any meal of the day into a magic routine.

You open a can of soup to find someone’s signed dollar.

You dig through the trash looking for an empty can because you’re thirsty.

The term "cups and balls" doesn’t make you snicker.

You have one or more chipped teeth from biting the wrong quarter.

Everything you see has a possible way to be vanished, produced, or transposed.

You never throw out old decks because you "can make something out of it".

You choose your wardrobe based on what/how many props it can carry.

Your Christmas or Birthday wish list looks like a magic catalogue.

Not one person who knows you wants to play cards with you.

You need a bang ring to access your change.

You forget that "Scotch and Soda" is an actual drink.

You hear someone ask for a Scotch and Soda and you pull out a Half Dollar and a Mexican Centavo.

You come running when you hear cards being shuffled.

You can keep a straight face while telling someone to tightly squeeze your balls in their hand.

You spend more time in front of a mirror than your girlfriend does.

You produce the waitresses’ tip from behind her ear.

You carefully watch a card-playing scene in a movie only to see what kind of cards they’re using.

You are the only one of your male friends that has a "silk collection".

You intricately produce the 4 aces out of the deck, only to lose them back into the deck, just so you can find them again!

You refer to everyday objects as "ordinary".

You are the only one that can have fun with a blank deck.

You refer to handkerchiefs as "silks".

You have over 100 responses to the phrase "How did you do that?"

Your idea of a fun date involves a lady and a saw.

Someone asks for your card and you give them the Ace of Spades.

It bothers you when others shuffle your deck.

You don’t think of a shell as being something found on the beach.

You sit down in a restaurant and survey the area for "props".

You want to put a coin in your left hand, but first you must pick it up with your right.

You lose your thumb and go to the magic shop instead of the emergency room.

Hearing the words "secrets revealed" make you want to hit a guy in a mask.

You don’t think of the raven as bird or work of Edgar Allen Poe.

You fear metal detectors.

You use the word "effect" rather than "trick".

You can produce real money, but you aren’t rich.

National alterations in US currency can REALLY hurt your routine.

You’ve used the force, but you’re not a Jedi.

Someone says they are allergic to Bees and it ruins your routine.

You’ve ever performed a Charlier with 2 packs of Tic-Tacs.

You understood 1 or more of these jokes.

-Jonathan Taylor and Friends